Divorce

 

In my Family Relations class this week we talked about parents divorcing. When I found out that we were going to be talking about this in class, I was actually really excited because this is something I really don’t have a lot of knowledge about, and I thought this would be a really good thing for me to know more about. Cause there are a lot of blended families and people that go through divorce. One thing that I did learn is no matter what you do things like this will be hard, though there are things that can make things easier. I think no matter how hard you try things like this will be hard for everyone involved. Some of the things that we discussed is if there are kids involved how to make things easier on them and how when parents remarry how those things can change family dynamics. 

When it comes to divorce no matter what you do it is going to be hard cause it isn’t supposed to be an easy thing done without some heartache. But honestly some of the best advice that my mother has given me is “marry someone who wouldn’t be a terrible person to be divorced to”. I know this can sound absolutely terrible without context but let me explain. So, through my years of living though my parents have never been divorced I know a lot of friends and family that have gone through divorce. And from my observation nothing hurts more when the other person is awful after. For example I have a family member and after they got a divorce it has been a nightmare trying to communicate with trying to be able to see kids and kids being brought into their drama when they are really too young to be brought into these kinds of dramas can not only be hard for the children but also the parent. So from this I’ve learned that if they are genuinely a nice person to the people around them they might not be a terrible person to be divorced to and what I mean by that is being able to communicate when there's kids involved and to be civil with one another. And I think if they’re a nice person sometimes I think it can be easier to not divorce them if they are able to communicate and want to make things work. 

When it comes to parents remarrying after divorce no matter what it’s going to be an adjustment for everyone involved. When it comes to step parents I don’t think they should be the evil step parent or the easy going fun aunt or uncle. I might be wrong cause I really don’t have much experience with this or not a lot about this. But I think that if you are the new step parents I don’t think it’s your job to be the one to do the discipline because you are not yet the parent and I don’t think that should be your job yet, because they might just end up resenting your and that mutual respect won’t be able to build up. Then you shouldn’t be the person that should let everything slide and be willing to keep things from their parents. This will not help your relationship with step kids because then they will probably just take advantage that they won’t get in trouble, and not only that they will not gain any respect for you. I think the key is to be able to find a normal balance between the two in order to create mutual respect with them. Making things easier for everyone to get along. 

Overall, no matter what you do it will always be an adjustment and isn’t meant to be easy. What is important is to be able to make things easier for the children and to remember that they are also adjusting to new things. Creating boundaries and mutual respect for one another. And that even before getting married I think it is also important to remember that even though you don’t go into a marriage planning on ever getting a divorce. It is also important to remember you are also choosing the person that you could possibly be divorced with. 


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