Family Roles

   

This week in our Family Relations class some of the things that we discussed were roles in the family. And not just the gender roles in the family but we discussed the roles that the children can play in the family. As well as boundaries within the family and being able to provide a safe place for your children. For myself I had a harder time grasping the concept, but my professor was able to show our class that I'm going to share that really opened my eyes. Where I was even able to connect to my real life, explaining some certain behaviors that I have and the roles that I play in the family. Through the week we were able to discuss certain roles that each family member can play in a family, and the certain environments and boundaries we set not only with our family but with the people around us. 

    In our class we talked about the roles that moms and dads tend to play while raising their children. But the part that I thought was interesting was discussing the different roles that the children tend to play in the family. And as someone who has four younger siblings, I was definitely able to relate to it very much. For myself I would consider myself as either the second parent or the influencer. From a young age I’ve always babysit my siblings and been able to put the younger siblings to bed without a problem, and because of that I have no problem disciplining my siblings. But I think I play the role of the influencer and I think this is mostly also because I’m the oldest child in my family. I’ve always tended to see my sister copy me from our favorite characters in movies, clothes and even opinions. If I was in an argument with one sibling, one of my siblings, one of my sisters or brothers would always change their position to be on my side. But for my other siblings some other role that they played was the clown. My sister for example is always the person to try and make everyone laugh even if it is a serious situation because it makes her mad when people are sad. So, it became her mission to make everyone smile even if sometimes it can become extremely annoying in some cases. And a funny thing I’ve been able to observe is that whenever a new sibling would come to join our family our roles would kind of shift in a way. For example, when my youngest brother was born my other brother was the youngest and once the title was taken away from him, he shifted. He quickly became a big brother figure wanting to take care of his little brother. So, matter what age and how many members there are in a family. Each family member takes part in some role whether it be a role of guidance or one to lighten the mood. 

The boundaries that we put up in our families not only affect the children in that family but the people around us. A great example that my professor made in class to explain this was by saying, say you are going to buy a house and there are three houses that look the same the only difference is that the first one has an electric fence, the second one has no fence people are everywhere and when you go to check it out the door is open and you see other people in it that you have no idea who they are. Then the third one has a regular white fence. So, what you can assume with the house with the electric sense is that they don’t want anyone in. They are the kind of the family that would be hard to get in contact with because they don’t want anyone in their business as much as possible. The house with the open door has people from everywhere coming in and out. Then the white fence house would be that family that you could say hello to and ask about their day with and are able to keep their personal within some boundaries. And with scenarios it is able to explain the importance of a home with balanced boundaries. That you can’t have too many boundaries where you are not able to accept help from others. But you shouldn't have to floozy boundaries where you have no personal life. You need to be able to have a balance. Some of the harm that can come with being too loose with your boundaries is that for example if you are letting anyone into your life and house you don’t know what could happen to your children. If you are letting everyone into your house it can become harder to keep track of all the things that can happen in your house.

Creating a healthy balance of boundaries with your children can create a better environment for you children. And that everyone in a family has a certain role to play and that it can always change throughout the years with changes. Creating ways for children and parents to adapt to their environment and be able to help each other along the way of living in this crazy world. 

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